My Mentor

After my summer internship I went back to school at a Christian university in my hometown. School has never been something I was “good” at so I took the time I felt I needed to focus on that instead of looking for another church job. After about a year away from ministry, I found out my home church had a new youth director.

“Vince” had been someone I had looked up to and known for a while. He had been one of my camp counselors when I was in high school and led one of my favorite small groups I had as a camper. He later interned at my church youth group for a short time before he became a youth director himself. Even with just a short amount of time around him he left a significant impression…and when I heard he was now the youth director…it seemed like the perfect opportunity to start working for a church again. I got in touch with him and he agreed to meet me at a local coffee house for lunch. It was great to catch up and tell him about my calling to youth ministry. They were in need of interns, he encouraged me to apply, and I got the job!

Working for Vince was great. We got along really well and worked really well together. We had a very similar since of humor and that came to the surface often. He would pick on me all the time and I would reciprocate as best I could. We were both really competitive and we’d both have a lot of fun with that too…both with each other and with the kids. We’d play each other in “horse” in the church gym almost every week (I won…a lot ;) ), and we’d challenge the kids in all kinds of games and take joy in beating them soundly.

All of that was great fun…but what I appreciated most about our relationship is Vince was always the greatest encourager. My first week on the job he asked me if I planned on being a youth director one day. When I told him I did he responded with, “I’m gonna get you a job,” and he really did. He showed me how to give a message, he showed me how he created lessons, how he planned trips, how he ran meetings, then he’d give me the freedom to do all of those things. I planned a couple smaller trips by myself…and with the bigger trips he always gave me a voice and responsibility in making things happen.

I came to realize Vince and I were built VERY similarly which was SO refreshing. Administration skills were not our strong suit…but he showed me how to get skilled in those areas and how to get help where I needed it. We were both very strong in building relationships with the kids and teaching…he showed me how to lean into that. We both loved to have fun and laugh a lot…he showed me how to engrain that into my ministry.

When I was ready to start applying for full time jobs…he went over my resume with me and showed me how to make it look more appealing to churches. He was obviously at the top of my reference list…and any time a church would call he’d let me know and say, “I basically made you sound like Jesus,” and eventually I got my first full time gig in youth ministry.

At my first internship I got a wake-up call as to what I needed to improve on to be a great youth director. What I learned from my 2 years with Vince at my home church was I had all the skills I needed and that I could be my authentic self…and still be a great youth director. We need people in our life who are not just great cheerleaders, but great encouragers. We need people who tell us “I believe in you,” then SHOW us with their actions how true that is.

I would continue to reach out to Vince when I needed advice or encouragement. He always knew what to say to give me wisdom and a smile. One time after a hard meeting with some youth parents I texted him and asked, “Remind me why we do what we do…” he replied, “So we’re at the front of the line for pizza in heaven.” When I experienced my last day in youth ministry…and it became public knowledge that I wasn’t attached to a church anymore…he reached out to me and said, “I hope you know what you did mattered…you made a real difference in kid’s lives and no one can take that away from you.” It brought tears to my eyes. I’m so thankful to have worked with and become friends with someone like him. He made me not just a better youth director but a better person. That’s what mentorship looks like.